I previously had no indication that they wanted to be together. Like, if two people just solidly dislike each other and don't want to get along, why force it?
But in this update, they actually want so hard to get along. They're just incredibly bad at it. It's obvious that they each desire each other's respect and good opinion. Nursey is just kind of bemused that Dex doesn't like him, while Dex feels threatened and inferior because he thinks Nursey doesn't like him. So Nursey keeps pushing closer all the time, like coming into Dex's Fortress of Solitude, in a way that frankly only makes sense if he's either a major asshole, or getting an infatuated endorphin rush just being around Dex, such that even negative attention feels good.
A lot of why Dex is so sensitive is that he perceieves Nursey as being fundamentally hostile and judgmental, and he really wants Nursey's approval and affection. Nursey, being a chill bro who doesn't want to open up big scary vulnerable ~feeeeeelings~, hasn't actually been clear about liking Dex a huge squishy lot. So if something happened where Nursey came clean, a lot of Dex's hostility would melt away like cotton candy in the rain.
They remind me a lot of couples I came across while doing my training in couples counselling. "We love each other and want to be together, but can't STAND each other." And so I know the processes--the conversations about specific things--that could happen to give them a lot of clarity about each other's motives, and what ways of communicating with each other could bring them into better accord.
I read Bitty's response as kind of illuminating what I'm imagining--ever seen a dysfunctional relationship where they're SO BAD for each other, but the moment you suggest they break up, you're suggesting the UNTHINKABLE? I think the SMH have tried for ages to separate them, and they refuse to be separated. So now the team has just wearily conceded that for some stupid reason, Dex and Nursey will not be mediated; they're committed to dancing this dance with each other.
I guess... part of it is, I didn't ship them before because I was so thoroughly off-put by their current dynamic, and when they were still mutually apathetic, I didn't see that ever changing. Whereas now, they have a lot of motivation to change, and the mess of their dysfunction is thick with yearning and the seeds of something positive.
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I previously had no indication that they wanted to be together. Like, if two people just solidly dislike each other and don't want to get along, why force it?
But in this update, they actually want so hard to get along. They're just incredibly bad at it. It's obvious that they each desire each other's respect and good opinion. Nursey is just kind of bemused that Dex doesn't like him, while Dex feels threatened and inferior because he thinks Nursey doesn't like him. So Nursey keeps pushing closer all the time, like coming into Dex's Fortress of Solitude, in a way that frankly only makes sense if he's either a major asshole, or getting an infatuated endorphin rush just being around Dex, such that even negative attention feels good.
A lot of why Dex is so sensitive is that he perceieves Nursey as being fundamentally hostile and judgmental, and he really wants Nursey's approval and affection. Nursey, being a chill bro who doesn't want to open up big scary vulnerable ~feeeeeelings~, hasn't actually been clear about liking Dex a huge squishy lot. So if something happened where Nursey came clean, a lot of Dex's hostility would melt away like cotton candy in the rain.
They remind me a lot of couples I came across while doing my training in couples counselling. "We love each other and want to be together, but can't STAND each other." And so I know the processes--the conversations about specific things--that could happen to give them a lot of clarity about each other's motives, and what ways of communicating with each other could bring them into better accord.
I read Bitty's response as kind of illuminating what I'm imagining--ever seen a dysfunctional relationship where they're SO BAD for each other, but the moment you suggest they break up, you're suggesting the UNTHINKABLE? I think the SMH have tried for ages to separate them, and they refuse to be separated. So now the team has just wearily conceded that for some stupid reason, Dex and Nursey will not be mediated; they're committed to dancing this dance with each other.
I guess... part of it is, I didn't ship them before because I was so thoroughly off-put by their current dynamic, and when they were still mutually apathetic, I didn't see that ever changing. Whereas now, they have a lot of motivation to change, and the mess of their dysfunction is thick with yearning and the seeds of something positive.